100 Things I, the Hero, am No Longer Allowed to Do
by Nolongerwishingforthis
Summary: America is bored at a World Meeting one day and decides to make a list of the things he is not allowed to do... Crappy summary, this is my first story so please bear with me on this, reviews are always welcome! Contains small language and some references, rated T just to be safe!


**Author's Notes:** Oh my this is so bad-

It's my first story, please bear with me.

**_Disclaimer: _****_ I do not own Hetalia or its characters! I take no credit for them! They belong to their rightful owner, Hidekaz Himaruya!_**

WIthout further ado, on to the story thingy~

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Alfred F Jones, the Personification of the United States of America, tapped his pen impatiently on the table at the World Conference. Ludwig, or Germany was giving a lecture about something important, and even though that was important to America, Germany's speech was very boring. It contained no excitement whatsoever, and this really bothered Alfred. He knew he shouldn't and he should pay attention, but he quickly decided to type a list of things he is not allowed to do. There was a lot of things and he couldn't keep track of them. He opened up a new Word document and quickly typed:

_100 things, I, The Hero, am Not allowed to Do._

_"Hey, this'll be easy! And Time consuming!"_ Alfred thought to himself. He then went into deep thought. What to write, what to write...Aha! He knew just to do, and he started jotting down some things on his list.

_I am not allowed to eat burgers during the meetings._

_Even if I'm hungry._

_Which is all the time._

_I can no longer call Arthur "Iggy"._

_Even if he secretly likes it~._

_He'd never say, but he does._

_I can no longer say "I'm the HERO!" at meetings._

_Even though I obviously am._

_That's just how I roll._

_I am no longer allowed to ask Sealand if he wants to be the 51__st__ state._

_I know he does._

_But Sweden would probably kill me._

_And that would suck for me._

_I cannot ask random girls if they'd like a vacation to Florida._

_Even though they'd say 'yes'._

_England says it's "rude and disgusting"._

_He's just jealous that I'm not asking HIM to vacation to Florida._

_I am not allowed to Egg and/or TP England's house._

_He'll just make me clean it up._

_And that's a waste of my time I could be using to make movies._

_Or use Tumblr._

_I am not allowed to buy McDonald's when it's my turn to bring snacks at the meeting._

_See Number 1._

_I am not allowed to put a US flag stamp on Canada's head._

_Cuba will beat him up._

_Even though that's very humorous to watch, I shouldn't._

_That would make me a bad brother._

_I am not allowed to watch scary movies with Japan anymore._

_Apparently it makes me 'terrified'._

_Even though heroes don't get terrified._

_ I am not allowed to drink a lot of soda or beer before bed._

_Apparently I wet the bed._

_I cannot try to steal Hungary's frying pan._

_Hungary will beat me down with that frying pan..._

_And that would hurt._

_A lot._

_I shouldn't try to annoy Austria._

_See Number 34._

_I am not allowed to make gagging noises when England makes me eat his food._

_He will get upset and choke me._

_That wouldn't be heroic._

_I am also not allowed to pretend die when I eat England's food._

_See number 40._

_I am not allowed to ask Finland if he knows the Easter Bunny too._

_Though I think he does._

_England tells me that the Easter Bunny isn't real._

_Though I know that's a lie._

_I am not allowed to ask Greece if he knows who Percy Jackson is._

_He'll just tell me no._

_I think Greece is hiding that he DOES know Percy Jackson and all those mythological gods, too._

_I bet they are best friends and hang out a lot._

_I am not allowed to make fun of Italy for being stupid._

_Germany or Prussia will beat me up._

_That's a scary thought._

_I am not allowed to say "China! I choose you!" anymore._

_Most countries don't get the reference._

_Even though it's oh so obvious._

_I am not allowed to make finger guns and make gun noises like "pew pew" at meetings._

_I am not allowed to invite England to my house on the 4__th__ of July._

_He gets uncomfortable._

_I am not allowed to talk to England's brothers anymore._

_See Number 40._

_I am not allowed to talk to Scotland._

_Even if he tells me funny stories, and because of Number 40._

_I am not allowed to blame Canada for Justin Bieber._

_He'll cry._

_Heroes don't make sidekicks cry._

_I am not allowed to blame England for One Direction either._

_See number 40, as usual._

_I am not allowed to pick on Canada._

_See number 53._

_I am not allowed to tell Liechtenstein what '69' is._

_Switzerland would kill me._

_I am not allowed to tell Seychelles that she smells like fish._

_England and France would kill me._

_I am not allowed to call Arthur "Grumpy ol Mister Kirkland"._

_Even if Australia dares me too._

_I am not allowed to read Prussia's diary._

_Even if the stuff he wrote in there is hilarious._

_Prussia will get very mad._

_He might hit me._

_Again._

_I am not allowed to tell Italy that Germany is only bi._

_I shouldn't crush his dreams._

_I am not allowed to use TXT talk in meetings._

_Evn if its totes kewl._

_I am not allowed to tell France that England likes him._

_England will get pissed._

_I am not allowed to sell the footage of France and England to Hungary._

_Even if she will pay high US dollars for it._

_And that kind of stuff is disgusting for her to be watching all the time like that._

_It's not funny at all._

_I am not allowed to teach Sealand the US System for measurement._

_Even if he pays me._

_Even if he bugs me to._

_I am not allowed to check any of my social media during meetings._

_Especially Tumblr._

_I am not allowed to play Candy Crush Saga during meetings either._

_There's a lot of things I can't do._

_Maybe I should go back in isolation._

_You know what, fuck the rules._

America smiled when he finished his list. He knew there were at least a million more things. But the American's fingers were hurting and he decided to call it a day. However, when he looked up, everyone was gone! Alfred was so indulged in his list he'd completely blocked the outside world around him, and the meeting was far over and everyone had gone home! Oh well, the list certainly had taken up his time and drew his attention away from everything else. America now knew what to do when he was bored at a meeting.

The American saved the document, closed his laptop and prepared to leave. For once, he was excited to go to a meeting!

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**Author's Notes:** Thank you so much for reading and bearing with me on this story! Again, this is my first story, and reviews are always welcome!


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